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Monday, September 22, 2014

Threatened to join Mstr5's karate class

Image source

Re-enacting this for the family Christmas Card this year.

I cringe at the cost of extra curricular lessons.

Mostly, I equate it to how many bottles of wine, pairs of shoes, nights in a Bali hotel that I'm missing out on for every weekly lesson.

It's all about me sacrificing for the children.

Miss8 is loving karate, and so Mstr5 agreed to give it a shot.

We were thrilled he'd shown an interest in something that would help with his motor skills, and so I fought back the woe is me about my holiday slush fund diminishing further each week, and enrolled him.

Here's how it's gone down so far.

Week 1

Stood on the spot and looked at himself in the floor to ceiling mirror opposite.

Chatted to self for at least 30 minutes of the 45 minute lesson.  At least 30 minutes.

Learned nothing.

Paid attention to the Sensei when he was given a star, but had no idea what it was for.

On the way home I explained how Mummy and Daddy were not paying money for him to chat with his BFF - his own reflection.  I told Mstr5 that deep and meaningful conversations with ones self could be saved for laterz.

Week 2

Paid attention for the first 5 minutes - things were looking up!

Then proceeded to chat with the kid next to him for the remainder of the lesson.

I nearly gave myself a migraine shooting him the Parental Death Stare (PDS) from the viewing area, willing him to look at me and read the threats conveyed by the PDS.

Every other parent was sitting, tooling around on their iDevices, waiting for the lesson to end so their Saturday could continue.  Except for me.  I was leaning forward, almost falling off the bench trying to mentally reach Mstr5 and scare him into paying attention.

No star from the Sensei this week, which resulted in a massive tanty because of the injustice of not being rewarded for zero attention or actual karate moves attempted.

Drove home explaining how karate is not a social club.  That for 45 minutes of his day he really truly can shut up and pay attention without talking, if he tries.

He doesn't believe me.

I went the motherly guilt trip route next, explaining that Mummy was at least 2 pairs of shoes and a week in Bali worse off each year, on account of his karate lessons.  Martyred myself and said that was my sacrifice because I'm a selfless Mummy who puts the kids first.

He doesn't believe me.

So have told him that next Saturday I am going to join the class - in full uniform - if he fails to pay attention. Standing next to him.  Kissing his face at random.

Daddy will be on the other side in his very own DIY karate uniform, busting a move.

Any chance to whip this old chestnut out again

He is fairly shitting himself.


  1. Oh please, please let there be a video of Dad busting a move in that outfit. It's truly special.

  2. I would also recommend Jiu Jitsu if there is a gym near you. It is very engaging and addicting specially to kids. It's a very mental martial arts to try


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