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Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Lord of the Flies...featuring real flies

I’m calling it : Summer is going to be totally shit in the Parental Parody household.

Why so pessimistic about what has always been my most favourite time of year?

It’s the flies.  I blame the flies.

That’s not to say that I’m already having a whine about swatting them from my wine.

You see, the twin tornado are deathly scare of them.

This is a new development, because I don’t recall witnessing any major meltdowns over the past 2 summer’s that the twin tornado have been on this earth and the flies land en masse.

Here in Perth, summer officially started a few weeks ago.

Cue balmy, warm weather.

Cue the influx of flies.

The twins will be happily playing away, then out of nowhere the screaming, screeching tantrums start.  Synchronised style.

All over a fly that has dared land within a 2 metre radius of them.

Bring it

To put this into perspective….

This is a set of twins who regularly chase the cat – the cat who has finally decided that enough is enough, and actually takes a half hearted swipe in their vicinity from time to time.  Which only makes them laugh hysterically and pursue him further.

This is a set of twins who saw a cockroach and laughed hysterically, also while chasing it.

This is a set of twins who bark back at dogs.

This is a set of twins capable of intimidating me when they’re in dual ranty tanty mode.

This is a set of twins who are totally unphased by me when I’m in ranty tanty mode.

But spot an itty bitty fly anywhere near them, and they go nuts.

Now I know that you can train homing pigeons, monkeys, dogs and dolphins.

I want to know if anyone out there can train flies?

Fly(t) school....geddit?

What’s that?  You don’t want to eat your vegetables?  Well let me just get the flies to come and take your plate away….

What’s that?  You don’t want to learn how to use the potty?  Well I’ll just get my fly army to change your nappies from now on…

What’s that?  You don’t want to come inside and have a bath?  Well it is the flies turn in the sandpit, so I’m sure you don’t mind sharing your bucket and spade, right?

My army of discipline deputies may well be expanding.  So you can take a rest now Zhu Zhu Pet Army and laminated  Mr T pic

The flies got yo back.  It's time for a vacation, fool.


  1. Lol, go to IGA and buy an electric fly swatter thingy.
    its like a cros between a flyswatter, tennis racket and bug zapper. 
    its scary but fun to watch them fry on the electric bits.

  2. I pity the fool who messes with your twin tornados!  my niece is deathly afraid of moths,,, lol...weird.

  3. Well, flies are attracted to uneaten food, so it is in their interests to clean their plates now. I like it!!

  4. Ha ha.
     My three year old told me this week in the car "dose fwies are reeewy annoying me".
    He meant the ones outside the car.
    God help us if one gets in.

  5. The flies are really bad in Perth this year. Annoying? Yes. Don't leave you alone even when you swat at them? Yes. Scary? Never heard of that one :p


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