School holidays suck.
School holidays plus Christmas plus the twin tornado celebrating a birthday all at the same time is the universe's way of laughing at my expense.
Speaking of expense...
Christmas presents x 3 kids plus birthday presents for the Twin Tornado all within 2 weeks of each other is enough to deplete my
wine slush fund emergency savings to a figure that can be counted on one hand.
Seriously, what kind of idiot has twins within 2 weeks of Christmas?
Don't answer that.
So while I was hyperventilating about the state of my pitiful Christmas booze fund while adding up the insane cost of presents that would likely be discarded and/or broken within a week...I received the new Cars 2 on DVD and Blu Ray, plus some awesome Cars 2 toys. All, conveniently, a week before Christmas and just over 2 weeks before the twins' birthday.
Being a mere 4 days in to the epic school holidays from hell, I ripped that DVD open as if it was a Tiffany & Co box, screaming for the kids to come see what Mummy had got them, before planting them in front of the TV. I seriously considered gaffa taping them in place, but there was no need. They were virtual zombies.
I couldn't even wait a week so that Santa could give it to them, not when I was already strung out and on my last nerve. The toys, however, they've been saved for Friday when Mstr2 and Miss2 morph into well behaved, vegetable loving, toilet trained Mstr3 and Miss3 (it's my dream, let me have it for another 2 days okay?).
I'd like to say that I got a lot of housework, Christmas shopping, meal preparation, bill paying - hell, even internet browsing completed while the kids watched Cars 2. But I didn't. I sat there with a glass of wine and zoned out, silently preying to the Vodka Gods that they would remain enamoured with it for the duration of the holidays, affording me at least
2 3 1 viewing per day.
And I'm delighted to report that so far we're on track. If they ever product a live version of the movie, my kids could easily take the place of the main characters, as they're starting to sprout the lines verbatim. Seriously...Pixar, have your people call my people and we'll do lunch and crunch the numbers.
Anywho, here's what you need to know about Cars 2 :
- It's kiddy friendly
- It's about cars
- It's animated
- It's funny
- It has an awesome range of merchandise and toys
- It has a pop-up tent that even
Ian idiot could assemble, and is large enough for an adult to hide in, with gratuitously mentioned wine, while the kids roam wild and feral and take over the house
- It's long enough to allow you to drink a decent portion of wine to calm your nerves that have been shredded by school holidays and the stifling Summer heat in a house without air conditioning, unless you count the confined space of the bedroom that is not worth chancing with you and all three kids because someone will find your secret chocolate stash, someone will find your makeup, and the other one will be elbow deep in your face cream, and all three will be eaten and smeared over the carpet.
Are you getting just how much I was hanging out for this DVD?
I'm not ashamed to admit that I totally bypassed the whole "Santa said you have to eat your broccoli if you want to play outside" in lieu of "Lightning McQueen said that you had to eat your broccoli if you want to play with him while watching the DVD". It has much more credibility in the face of 3 and 6 year olds trying to come to terms with the fact that Santa won't be visiting again for another 11 1/2 months, while Cars 2 is here for them every single day.
Every. Single. Day.
I may also have lead them to believe that the ending may change each time they watch it, because someone else might win the big race. It helps add to the suspense. Of course I am totally screwed when they wise up to the fact that Mummy does not control what happens on the DVD. Until then, they think I am awesome for letting the good guys win every time, heh.
But enough of me rubbing my school holidays salvation in to those of you still struggling (because I totally have other blog posts to come where I get to continue that).
Thanks to Porter Novelli and Disney Pixar, I have an awesome prize pack to give away :
Cars 2 on DVD and Blu Ray, plus a Lightning McQueen pop-up tent (a new one, not the one I've been hiding out in for the past 2 weeks).
For your chance to win :
Comment below (one entry for each)
1. Your school holidays "Do" (mine is to ensure your liquor cabinet / survival supplies are fully stocked prior to the onset of the holidays)
2. Your school holidays "Don't" (mine involves red cordial intended for Vodka cocktails being left unattended long enough for the kids to demolish it...straight up...it was a hellishly feral 24hrs, let me tell you)
3. Tweet this competition
4. Share this competition on Facebook
And once you've done that, go ahead and fix yourself a drink. You deserve it.
The fine print
Entry is open to Australian residents only
Maximum four (4) entries per person
Entries close midnight (WST) Thursday 12 January
Winner posted on the blog Friday 13 January
Winner has seven (7) days to respond before I curse like a trooper and carry out a re-draw
Entries close midnight (WST) Thursday 12 January